Building a Child’s Independence Part 1 – In the Bedroom

I have to admit, in my non-parenting years, I never thought independence was something that had to be ‘taught’ as in–  ’Don’t kids just WANT to do things on their own naturally?’ – ok – I know I was clueless.  Independence is a multi-faceted big glob of interconnected details – as we soon found out!  What I mean is – independence (at least in our experience) is a mix of physical capability, environment, interest and knowledge.  For example – if we wanted our toddler to dress herself she would need to –

1. Be able to put the shirt on her head and pull down (physical capability)
2. Be able to access her shirts (environment)
3. Does she even WANT to?  If she doesn’t how do we get her to want to? (interest)
4. Does she know how to get about putting her shirt/pants/skirt on? (knowledge)

<sigh> Nothing is simple in parenting.

What we’ve found is the interest part does come natural especially if you start early.  The way you have your ‘environment’ set up is pretty important in terms of completing the whole independence spectrum.

Recently we’ve been having some difficulty with getting our 5 year-old to get ready in the morning or before bedtime – and on top of that – dealing with the mountain of laundry that needs to get done every few days.  So I figured it sure would be nifty if with ‘independence’ everyone wins

THE PROBLEM

We’ve figured out that  her closet was organized more for us rather than for her.  As the ‘before’ picture shows – her shirts were hung high, her pjs were also on a high drawer – this configuration has her able to reach her dresses but not her shirts.  Her pj’s were out of reach and worse – when she tries to do it herself the drawer would sometimes almost tip on her.

BEFORE - Although the closet looks fairly organized - unfortunately, certain parts of her wardrobe were out of reach for our 5 year old

THE SOLUTION

Well – we reconfigured her closet around – party clothes, off-season items, larger sized clothing on the top rung (in short – stuff she doesn’t really need access to). Moved her shirts to the lower rung and moved her PJ drawers to the floor. I have to say – our closet isn’t fancy but I’m glad we were able to easily reconfigure it.  We also added an Ikea step stool that stays in the closet for her to access her dresses.  As well as a box on the floor for unused hangers (the box fits under her shirts).

We were surprised (I guess we should have seen it coming) how much happier she was with the new set-up.  She immediately got to work pulling things out to wear for school the next day! : -)

AFTER - Our little munchkin happily picking clothes for the next day.

On a side note – We have been having trouble encouraging our potty training toddler to grab her own underwear after ‘accidents’.  I realized the pile of underpants – although within arms reach was still a little too high for her – we simply moved it to another lower area and voila!  She’s been grabbing her own underpants without us having to remind her (hallelujah)!

OK it’s not all roses – the downside (if you want to call it a downside) for independence are parents relinquishing control – yes – she or he will wear THOSE pair of pants with THAT shirt.  Little sacrifices for big rewards.

Now, for our 5 year-old, we fold her clothes and place it in her bedroom and she puts them where they belong in her closet after school.  Saving us a step  Win-win — of course I know it’s not always going to be this smooth – but she also knows that all her stuff will start piling up on her table if she doesn’t put things away.  On our end it does take self-control not to do it for her because we do it ‘quicker’ – in the long run we know it’s better to control ourselves and let things run its course. Next step – sorting and folding (fingers crossed).

Here are a couple other things we also did to her Bedroom –

1. Toys are all accessible – she knows where they belong – little items have little plastic containers (we use empty salad/spinach containers).
2. Separate book area with a little basket on the floor for books she is currently reading.
3. Hamper for laundry – easier for her to have a hamper in her room rather than in the laundry room.
4. We do let her plan how to decorate her room – independence is easier when she is proud of how her room looks.

Independence takes a lot of patience on our part and work on our kid’s part.  Our  jobs as independence enablers don’t end when they ‘know’ how to do things – it is also our responsibility to follow through with our own actions – I aim to not be a nag… it’s surprisingly hard but at the same time so much more rewarding to see our kids happy with what they are able to do on their own!

Stay tuned for Part 2 – Independence in the Kitchen and Part 3 – Independence in the Bathroom!

Related articles

• Teaching Independence (sortedmegablocks.wordpress.com)
• How To Teach Kids Responsibility (familymatterswithamber.com)

Related articles

Tips to De-clutter that stack of magazines!

Do you love to read?  Enjoy catching up on entertainment, sports, fashion, news with a good magazine?  My wife and I do too!  But in a busy household with two active kids, it’s challenging to find the time to get through our magazines and the pile/clutter starts to build… 

So here’s my recommendations/guidelines on de-cluttering that stack of magazines:

1. If the magazine is older than 2-3 months, it’s OLD/past season!  Flip through it quickly and only keep the pages of articles you “really” want to read.  A few pages is more inviting and less intimidating than an entire stack of magazines.  Also, keep the reading material where you will read it – bathroom, bedside, by your favorite chair, where you eat breakfast or lunch, etc.
2. If you keep/collect magazines - like cooking, Chicago, National Geographic, etc – for future reference, store them properly and keep them organized!  When we lived in Chicago and subscribed to Chicago Magazine, we’d keep the annual edition of Best Schools, Best Doctors, Best Restaurants, Where To Fix It, etc. and found these inexpensive magazine files from Ikea to be super helpful!  The Container Store has some more expensive magazine files as well.  See the photos below for a sample of what is available at Ikea and The Container Store.
3. Repurpose magazines and cut out and use pictures from magazines for kid crafts!  We do this for our daughter and keep cut outs of food, flowers, people, furniture, etc. in a ziplock bag and she makes photo collages out of them – simple glue stick, sheet of paper or cardboard and creativity!  If you have young kids or grandkids in school, check with the teacher/school to see if they want magazine donations for their arts and crafts!
4. Recycle!  Save some trees and be green – recycle your magazines and newspapers.  If your town doesn’t offer curb side recycling with waste/garbage service, many school districts or churches have recycling drop off station.
5. Changes to on-line subscriptions!  Double bonus – go green and prevent clutter!  Switch to on-line subscriptions of your publications and read on your computer, laptop or iPad!
6. If you want to save money and go green, see if your public library has the publications you read and schedule time to go and read the magazines there.

Have any other tips or recommendations?  Please share and leave a comment!  Thanks!

Related articles

• Workshop Q&A: How to Organize Magazines (creativeorganizing.typepad.com)
• Top Five Places For Clutter in the Home – and What To Do About it (angsays.wordpress.com)
• Cleaning House: Getting Rid of Clutter (gomestic.com)

Trofast? Organize Toys & Have Kids Maintain It!

Do your kids rule the “family room” or if they have a playroom, are the toys all over the place like the scene of a battlefield???  That was our dilemma and then we discovered Ikea’s Trofast Toy Storage Series!  It’s affordable and efficient for easy storage and access to toys and you can get a taller unit and place the “only under supervision” toys/supplies like play dough/paints/etc in the top drawers for parent access only!

To get our daughter to put things back where they belong so she can find it next time, we printed the description in large bold letters and taped it to each bin.  So, she knows where to put her dress up shoes, doctor equipment, balls, etc!  Works like a charm and makes all of our lives just a little bit easier!

Ikea has a lot of neat and reasonably priced furniture/kitchen/storage merchandise and accessories based on simple Swedish design and lines.  Great place for college dorm or first apartment basics on a budget – meaning, in my humble opinion, not the best/top quality of items, but for the cost and amount of time you plan to use something, it can be a great choice! 

So, check out their website, request a catalog, or if you go to their store - they have a play area for kids and a yummy restaurant and snack shop - be sure to check out their clearance section for floor models or slightly damaged/dented/chipped items at real good discounts!  We found our TV entertainment unit and a bookshelf in the clearance section for 1/2 price (and already assembled) – sweet deals and no visible damage!